Ready to Go

I think I'm ready for my trip to visit graduate schools. I leave tomorrow, and apart from packing (which I never do until last-minute, anyway) I'm set. I've spent the past few weeks finalizing my travel plans, and I've managed to set up several meetings. I'm really looking forward to seeing some of these campuses and meeting professors face-to-face. Hopefully I'll be able to impress some of them. I've printed out several of each professor's most recent publications to read on my way to each city. That way I can be as informed and enthusiastic as possible about the current research in their labs, and hopefully be able to tailor a few rough PhD thesis ideas to fit well within the lab's specific areas of study.

In addition, I've also set up meetings with grad students working in the labs that interest me. A professor may think he/she is easily accessible, but his/her students may think otherwise. Every professor is likely to think that their lab is a good one, but the students will have a perspective closer to what your own might be, and they're really the best source of information concerning lab (and even departmental) dynamics. They'll likely be more willing to share what it's really like on the 'inside'-- who gets along, who doesn't, who's difficult, how accommodating certain professors are, what teaching loads are like for TAs, how much assistance you're likely to get choosing a thesis topic and pursuing research funds, etc. It should be interesting to see if and why students like their schools, departments, advisers, and cohorts.

The trip should make for an interesting week, and I'm definitely ready for a break from work. Luckily, the last school I'm visiting isn't far from where a friend of mine lives, and I'll be able to make the last couple days of my trip into a mini vacation of sorts.

Crisis... Averted?

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I'd suddenly been informed that I was going to lose my job at the barn. The announcement really came as a shock to me, and I've spent the ensuing time trying to dig up a promising employment opportunity that pays more than minimum wage. I'd managed to secure myself an interview with a local non-profit environmental group, and was hoping that, even though the pay wasn't great, the job would provide me with good experience and solid networking opportunities while keeping me employed through the end of next summer (when I'll hopefully definitely be going off to grad school somewhere).

Then, just as suddenly as they'd announced the need to let me go, they announced their intentions to keep me on. Er... what?

One day at the end of last week, Debbie approached me about tutoring Trina next semester in some classes she's planning on taking at a community college. Tutoring Trina is something I've done for years now, helping her work her way through various science courses in high school. It can be incredibly frustrating, but it pays well.

Although Debbie has sworn that she wants Trina to be completely independent in college, evidently she's decided that community college isn't quite the same, and that Trina needs a full-time tutor next semester to help her complete her assignments, study, and generally stay on-track. She asked me to fill this position.

My answer? "No."

Debbie was extremely confused when I told her no, having the impression that I just love tutoring Trina and I have a special gift for getting through to her and helping her understand difficult subjects. I told her that when I had to quit working in the barn in October, I was going to find a full-time job somewhere and work through to next July or August, and that there was no way I was going to work for a few months and quit the job just to come back and work for her in January. Her next suggestion was that I not get another job, and just wait around between October and January for her to employ me again (did I mention she's crazy? Yes?).

Finally, when I pointed out to her that it really wasn't fair to expect me to try and support myself, unemployed, for a few months just so I'd be available to her next semester, she conceded that the only way she'd have me as a tutor for Trina is if I continued to work for her until that point. So just as suddenly as I lost my job, I got it back.

Part of me really wanted to tell her off, not accept her offer of a tutoring job, and go and find myself a real job in the real world and be done with her insane little universe. But there's something to be said for job security, and the idea that my job is likely safe now through May or June is a strong draw in a downed economy.

Even if there is a possibility that she'll change her mind. Again.

Submitted

Earlier this week my co-author and I finally submitted an article (based on my senior thesis research) for publication. The editing process has been both long and painful, not because my thesis needed a great deal of work to be reformatted for publication, but because my co-author, Walt (my thesis adviser at CLAS) is just about the worst type of person for getting things done. I never would have finished my thesis were it not for my academic adviser, Alan, and an extra-large helping of independence in my genetic makeup.

Unfortunately, submitting the paper to a peer-reviewed journal was not something I could do without him, so I had to grind my teeth and, over the last couple months, email him mercilessly to coax him into completing his part of the process. I had my initial revisions finished and on his desk a week after I graduated in May of 2009, so it's taken 15 (!) months for him to get his stuff together. He openly admitted to me a few weeks ago that he sees little incentive to publish now that he has tenure, even though he understands how important it is to individuals (like myself) who are just starting out.

This has been a particularly trying process since the beginning of the summer, because: 1) I talked with several graduates from this years' class who had work In Press (already accepted for publication), or, at the very least, in review, and 2) I know exactly how important a publication on my record is going to be for graduate school admissions this year. In fact, having some of my work published is the one thing most often stressed by potential advisers with whom I've been in contact. No one, thus far, has said I need additional research experience or fieldwork, but they've all said that a publication in the works would go a long way toward making me an irresistible candidate for admissions.

Nonetheless, the paper has finally been submitted. Now I just have to hope that it goes to review! I feel like the odds of the paper going through the review process and being accepted for publication before I send in my graduate school applications this fall are against me.  I'm just going to hope for the best (and speedy reviewers), and keep my fingers crossed that even if I don't manage to have In Press on my CV by the time application deadlines roll round, professors will still look more favorably on something in review than something in preparation, or nothing at all.

Things I'd rather not live without

Karina at Aspiring Ecologist is hosting August's Scientiae, a monthly blog carnival dedicated to stories from women in science, technology, and math. Karina's chosen theme for this month is "school supplies"-- stuff we feel is indispensable for the success of our various projects.

Technically, I'm not a student right now, and I'm not currently working in the field or on any specific project. But I'm not far removed from fieldwork, and I still enjoying spending time romping around outdoors, even if I'm not working on research.

Most of my "must have" supplies are derived from the Ten Essentials, a list of ten items generally recommended as necessities for traveling in the backcountry. If you ever work in the field (or do any sorts of recreational activities outdoors) then these ten things should always be in your pack, even for short day hikes. I'll admit I do take some liberties with the list (e.g. I won't take a map for someplace I've been tens of times) but I typically carry everything along. And, of course, I've tailored it to suit my personal style!

1. Map- I prefer self-made maps using a GIS program, like ESRI's ArcGIS. My favorite maps are satellite photos with overlays of important features like roads. Satellite photo-based maps are particularly useful in the field, because oftentimes you can see trails or other geographic features on a photo that would be difficult to find on the ground.
2. Compass- I always carry a compass. It's important not to keep a compass someplace it will get tossed around a lot, or anywhere near electronic equipment-- otherwise it might become uncalibrated. 
3. Sunglasses and sunscreen- What? You want to burn your retinas? Or get melanoma? I never go anywhere without sunglasses. Even if it's overcast.
4. Extra clothing- Unless I know I'm going to be somewhere far from easily accessible roads or local communities, I often won't pack more than a rain jacket and/or hooded sweatshirt. The longer the trip, or the farther from civilization, the more extra clothing I'll carry. I almost always carry a pair of gaiters in my field pack, though. Dead useful for a whole host of situations-- everything from snow to mud to prickly, evil shrubs.
5. Headlamp/flashlight- Er... I don't really carry my headlamp with me all the time. I should.
6. First-aid supplies- I think I have two little first-aid kits in my field pack right now. Adhesive bandages are a necessity.
7. Firestarter- I've never carried a firestarter.
8. Matches- If they're not waterproof, they're not worth having.
9. Knife- I prefer a multitool. Right now I carry a Leatherman Wave. I never go anywhere in the field without a pair of pliers and a knife, and this little piece of engineering has a crapload of other built-in gadgets, too, like a nail file, saw, and both Phillips- and flat-head screw-driving bits. The last thing I used it for? Pulling a frayed shoelace tip (sans aglet) through an eyelet in my trail-running shoes. I never could have done it without those pliers on-hand. You might be surprised how useful these things actually are.
10. Extra Food- Mmmm... trail snacks. I love food, and I always carry a little something extra in my pack, even if I don't plan on eating it. One of my favorite field staples are Primal Strips, a meatless, vegan jerky (I'm vegetarian) that pack easily and have a long shelf-life. They have good texture and provide a lot of protein and a nice dose of salt. My favorite flavors are Hickory Smoked and Texas BBQ, but the Teriyaki and Mesquite Lime are pretty good, too.

That may be all that's recommended on the list of Ten Essentials, but I have a few to add of my own. I rarely go anywhere without...

1. Duct tape- For all the jokes surrounding its innumerable uses, this stuff really has, well... innumerable uses. 
2. Flagging- I'm talking about plastic or fibrous flagging, the kind about an inch in width that comes in a roll. If you need to a) mark a location visually, b) if you find yourself in a tricky, heavily vegetated area in which you don't want to get turned around, or c) if you need to return to a spot for something later on, brightly-colored flagging (neon pink has always worked well for me) tied to a tree branch or shrub is simple and highly effective.
3. Something to write on, and with- I prefer fine-tipped Sharpies and Rite in the Rain notebooks, even if they are a little pricey.
4. GPS- Even though people have been trudging around the wilderness for centuries without technology, I'm really enamored by today's GPS units. They're unbeatable for everything from marking study sites and sampling locations to finding your way around unmarked dirt roads and two-tracks in rural Wyoming. I would have literally been incapable of finishing my workload with the BLM last summer were it not for a trusty Trimble Juno SB.

FMyLife

From my experience, one should always be most aware of impending bad news when things seem to be going smoothest. It's one of those laws of inaccurate perception-- Murphy's law, or the first corollary to Sod's law, or the unspeakable law (techincally, I think in this case it's a combination of the latter two).

See, I was doing just fine and dandy at work on the ranch, making enough money to support myself with just a tiny bit extra to sock away every month, enjoying my new horse-related hobbies, and having enough free time after work to pursue graduate adviser connections, trip planning, and literature review for fellowship applications and research proposals. And then, WHAM!, out of nowhere, "We're going to be making some changes around the barn, and we're going to need to let you go."

What?

Seriously?

Suddenly, inexplicably, my steady, dependable job on the ranch is gone, leaving me with just over four weeks to try and dig up a full-time employment opportunity elsewhere. Admittedly, this terrifies me, as I've been trying (without success) to get an ecology or environmental education-related field job since last November, and I know a couple other people who've been without work for nine months or more now, applying for tens of jobs a week in everything from stocking to retail to answering phones.

And, to add insult to injury, one of my friends at the barn overheard Debbie talking on the phone about me to Marlene, saying something along the lines of, "I don't understand why she just doesn't go to a local school, since it's obvious she's not good enough to get in anywhere else." This really shouldn't bother me much, and to be honest it's more irksome than anything, and I find myself laughing about it (albeit bitterly). It's just frustrating to realize how little the people around me understand about the difficulties of getting into graduate school, the time-intensive application process, and how "didn't get in" is far from synonymous with "can't. "

I was really upset yesterday when I got the news, and I'm still not very happy about it. But I'm trying to view this more as an opportunity to get away from narrow-minded individuals with more money than sense, as opposed to the loss of an entertaining, often fun job with the added benefit of working outside and with animals.

Still... what am I going to do now?

Improving my chances

I've spent the past few months enjoying a weird sort of summer, stuck somewhere between the real world and waiting for my real life to begin. But even as I've done my best to focus on the moment at hand, my ultimate goal has lingered, never very far from my mind. Now, as the 2011 application season approaches, it's finally time for me to start taking steps to help ensure that this time round won't end up like the last.

This includes several things-- frantically editing and putting as much pressure as possible on my undergraduate adviser (and co-author) to publish the results of my senior thesis; reading and brainstorming to come up with (and eventually write-up) a research proposal for another shot at The NSF GRFP; researching other potential forms of funding, such as EPA STAR and IGERT fellowships; trying to find additional prospective advisers; and, last but not least, following up on advice (to increase my chances) that I received from professors whose labs I applied to last year.

Although I chose not to email professors and ask upfront, "Why wasn't I accepted?", I did email several professors at the beginning of the summer to let them know about my continued interest in their labs and my intent to reapply this fall. Most wrote back, and a couple of them offered suggestions about reapplying. I also spoke with several professors at ASM about the application process, and all their suggestions were more or less the same-- if at all possible, visit campuses and meet with prospective advisers in person.

None of the professors I applied to work with said anything about my credentials. No one suggested I get additional research experience, improve my test scores, or get that paper published. But every single one of them encouraged me to visit their labs sometime in the fall. So that's what I plan on doing.

In truth, I've known this was good advice from the start. My undergraduate advisers all strongly suggested I do so, and most of the literature I've read about applying to grad school in the sciences highly recommends visiting campuses before applying. Last year, because of my work with the BLM, my finances, and the sheer distance of Newcastle to any discernible form of long-distance transportation, I was unable to make any headway on meeting potential advisers. This year however, my job at the ranch allows me enough flexibility to take some time to go campus hopping.

For the last couple weeks, I've been trying to plan out a visit to as many campuses as possible in the shortest amount of time. Although my work schedule is flexible, I'll still be taking time off work-- not making money while simultaneously spending it on things like travel costs and food. I've worked it out now to where I think I can visit four campuses (and, should everything work out, five to eight advisers) in seven days. This is turning out to be somewhat of a logistical nightmare, as I'm planning on relying solely on public transportation to get around, and planning things like shuttles, bus rides, and trams in advance isn't nearly as easy as it seems.

My trip is planned for the end of September, and it's officially in the works now, as I purchased plane tickets online last night. Visiting only four campuses is far from ideal. If I had the time and the money, I'd likely add another five or six schools to my list, but for right now this is the best I can do. I can only hope now that a.) I actually will get to meet with the professors and b.) the time, effort, and money I put into this trip won't go to waste, and I'll make enough good impressions to have some of these advisers go to bat for me when the time comes for admissions decisions to be made.

Round Two

And so it begins. Again.

The 2011-2012 application season is here. "Now wait," you might be thinking. "Applications won't even be accepted by most schools until September, at the earliest! What do you mean the application season is here?"

Ah, but you're forgetting, aren't you? Applying to graduate school in the sciences isn't quite like the process for other fields. I have to find an adviser willing to take me on as a student before I even think about applying to a school. This is a tedious process, and one I'm not enjoying any more this year than I did last year.

Last year I contacted a total of 35 individuals via email, expressing interest in their research and inquiring whether they were in a position to accept new graduate students.  Of those, I received positive responses from roughly 10 people.  These professors were suitably pleased with my research experiences and academic background, had or expected to receive funding for upcoming projects, and were interested in taking on a new student.  I continued to correspond with each of these ten individuals on and off throughout autumn.  When it came time for me to apply to schools proper, I selected the most promising of those ten people, and applied to the institutions at which they work, for a total (ultimately) of 7 applications.

You see, several of those initial responses turned out to have come from people who, after continued correspondence, seemed less than an ideal match over time. The more I communicated with those three particular individuals, the more I realized that our research interests didn't particularly overlap as well as I'd imagined, or that our personalities didn't mesh well and would likely lead to problems over time.

Regardless, I applied to 7 schools. And was summarily rejected from each.

So now the process begins anew. I would love for the process to be as easy as re-contacting those 35 individuals from last year and asking, again, if they're in a position to accept students. But it's not quite that simple. Some of these individuals I've contacted again (6). Some I haven't, because of some slight shifting in my research interests and intended foci. In these cases, my research interests and those of my first-round contacts no longer overlap (12).

Of the ten individuals I corresponded with in a positive fashion last year: The three I decided not to pursue in applications were already crossed off my list (15). One of the seven I applied to work with never communicated with me again, despite repeated efforts. He's nixed, too (16). One is no longer accepting new students (17). One I met in person at the ASM conference and found out was a total asshat (18). One works at a school which has, I've decided, a more evolutionary-based focus (as opposed to an applied ecological focus) than I'd like (19). Three I've kept in contact with and will re-apply to work with this year (22).

The others? Of my 35 original, first-round contacts, six never responded to my inquiries, despite several well-spaced, polite, repeated requests (28). Three will not accept students without a master's degree, and although I appreciate the benefits of getting an MSc first, I'd really like to go straight to PhD (31). Three were at or nearing retirement (34), and one had recently moved from a domestic institution to a small, obscure school in the far reaches of a foreign country (35).

So that leaves, in total, 9 individuals I can contact again about graduate school opportunities, which isn't anywhere near enough. I've already heard back from four that aren't accepting new students. That leaves most of my available free time to scouring the internet, reading recent research papers and digging through departmental websites, trying to find and make additional contacts with potential advisers.

It's a pain, and I really wish I'd open up my inbox one of these days to bright shafts of lights and angel choirs to find a message saying, "Yes, I'll absolutely take you on as a student next year. You're perfect for my lab!" instead of the all-too-brief and somewhat depressing, "not enough funding", "not accepting students", "going on sabbatical", or "Thanks for your interest, but..." phrases that typically catch my eye.

Hopefully, in the end, this whole process will be worth the effort, and I'll end up with a wonderful, interactive, and supportive graduate adviser.